• We don't offer our kids cash or toys for their Halloween candy.
• They get to eat as much as they want on Halloween and keep the rest after.
• I want them to learn how to listen to their bodies and develop a healthy relationship with sugar.

When Halloween rolls around every year, the Switch Witch or candy fairy posts start flooding my feed. But in our house, our three kids can eat as much candy as they want on Halloween night, and we don't offer to trade cash or toys for their haul. In fact, we let them keep their candy until long after Halloween has passed.

I'm not anti-rules, I'm pro-experience

I'm not saying sugar is harmless or that I want my kids to eat unlimited amounts of candy every day, but I understand the value of special occasions, and I want them to do the same. I also know that just telling kids something isn't good for them and not letting them have the firsthand experience often backfires. (Or maybe that's just my kids?) And I have to admit the first time I watched my oldest kid work her way through a pile of wrappers, I wondered if I'd made a huge mistake.

But it wasn't a mistake. It's allowed us to frame sugar within our eating habits to help our kids understand what a well-balanced diet means, rather than focusing only on its downsides. We talk about the place of protein, fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and treats in our lives. Ultimately, I'd rather help my kids build their own internal "enough" meter while they are young than have me control it now and send them into adulthood lacking the skill. This is one opportunity to do that.

Our Halloween rules are simple

Our house generally operates on a "two sugars per day" rule: as long as they eat a good balance of foods, our kids can choose two things they'd like that contain sugar throughout the day. This might be a family trip to an ice cream shop or a lollipop from a doctor's office. But on Halloween, the only rule is that they have to eat a decent dinner before trick-or-treating. Then they can eat as much candy as they'd like.

The second rule around Halloween is that anything not eaten by the following summer is thrown away. And you'd be surprised at how much candy we throw away. Because candy isn't forbidden fruit in our house, our kids don't hoard it and are fairly mindful about eating what they truly enjoy. This means they're generally open to giving away candies they don't like to siblings or parents (my collection of Almond Joys each October 31st brings me great, well, joy), and they also preemptively throw away things no one likes.

They are learning an important lesson about their bodies

Each of our kids has learned what too much sugar feels like, from crashes to more unfortunate situations. There was the unforgettable Saturday afternoon our then-6-year-old treated us to bright blue throw-up, courtesy of too many Toxic Waste candies. And the night our then-10-year-old woke up again and again with a stomachache.

But none of them have had a negative experience twice (so far). They are growing more attuned to their bodies and what makes them feel unwell before they hit the tipping point. To me, this is a sign that they are forming healthy relationships with sugar, and eating in general. It's ever-evolving, of course, but I didn't grow up learning this skill, so it's one I want to give them.

And for me, it goes beyond food. I hope they'll understand and listen to their bodies in other situations as they grow, from going to parties in college to pushing themselves physically in exercise or sports. Our bodies are really cool, complex machines that give us a lot of signals if we know how to tune in. An overindulgent night of candy on Halloween seems like a pretty low-risk way to help them calibrate their "enough" meter.

• I'm a dietitian and let my two kids enjoy Halloween candy without making them feel guilty.
• After trick-or-treating, I let them each choose five favorite pieces of candy to save for later.
• The Candy Fairy takes the rest and leaves a small toy, making the exchange fun rather than a punishment.

Editor's note: Do you let your kids keep all their Halloween candy? Do you have them pick a few they can keep? Share in the comments what your approach is.

Every Halloween, I know exactly what's coming: two excited kids, costumes, a neighborhood full of candy, and by the end of the night, bags that seemingly weigh almost as much as they do.

They look forward to trick-or-treating for months. Every year it's the same: despite my annual request that they wait until we get home to start eating their haul, more candy than I'd like gets eaten while we're still walking around the neighborhood.

I'm a registered dietitian, but I'm also a mom. Halloween is supposed to be fun, the kind of event that becomes a core childhood memory. I want my kids to feel "normal" in the best sense of the word. I want them to run from house to house, trade candy, and enjoy the same traditions as their friends without feeling like they have different rules because their mom happens to be a dietitian.

At the same time, I want them to understand balance.

When we get home, they may each have a few more pieces. Then we dump everything out, and they choose about five favorite pieces to save for later.

The rest goes to the Candy Fairy.

My kids write letters to the Candy Fairy

The Candy Fairy takes the extra candy and leaves a small toy in exchange. My kids even write her letters and put them in the mailbox. It turns getting rid of the excess into something fun instead of a punishment.

They still get the excitement of collecting candy and choosing the pieces they really love, while having some control over what stays. I'm not deciding which candy they're allowed to keep or telling them what they should like. They get to decide which pieces are worth saving and which ones they're ready to give up. I get to avoid having a ridiculous amount of candy sitting in the house until Thanksgiving.

My daughter may be starting to outgrow the tradition now, at 9 years old, but my son probably has a few more Candy Fairy years left. Eventually, though, I hope the tradition evolves with them.

Instead of sending the candy to a fairy, we can donate it to an organization they feel good about supporting. They'll still get that sense of pride and reward, only by then, the Candy Fairy will just be Mom, celebrating an act of kindness.

I want them to still enjoy their candy

There's also a practical reason this approach works for our family: our food environment matters. One phrase I often use is, "In house, in mouth." When I say that, I mean that food is harder to ignore when it's staring you in the face every time you open the pantry.

Halloween creates a strange kind of stress for parents. We don't want to teach our kids to fear candy, but we also don't want pounds of treats sitting in the house for weeks on end.

For me, it simply isn't worth that mental energy. I'm OK with having less Halloween candy around for a few days. Another family might feel fine keeping it for a month, and some may hardly be affected by it at all. There isn't a one-size-fits-all correct deadline.

I don't believe promoting a healthy relationship with food means pretending every food serves the same purpose. My kids know candy doesn't nourish their bodies the way the foods we eat every day do. It's a treat, a "fun food." Halloween is an occasion to enjoy those treats. I want my kids to enjoy their candy and not feel guilty about it. What I don't want is one night of celebration quietly stretching into a month simply because we happened to collect too much.

To me, teaching balance means holding both ideas at once: something can be enjoyable without needing to be available in unlimited amounts. That's the middle ground I'm trying to teach my kids. To me, food freedom includes structure. Boundaries simply make expectations clear.

The extra candy doesn't have to go in the trash

Families can look for local donation programs. Soldiers' Angels runs Treats for Troops, which collects Halloween candy for service members, veterans, and military communities. Some dental offices and community organizations may also serve as collection sites, so it's worth checking local options. Some families might freeze a few favorite chocolates or save candy for baking.

The point is not that there is one perfect way to handle it.

Our rule is simple: Enjoy Halloween. Eat some candy. Pick a few pieces you really love. Then let the Candy Fairy, or a good cause, handle the rest. For our family, that feels like the right balance.

My kids get to be kids, participate like everyone else, get excited about costumes, have fun with their friends, enjoy the candy on Halloween night, and learn that food freedom and boundaries can exist together.