My partner and I often joke that we're in a 'middle-distance' relationship.
Lindsey Galloway
My partner lives in a spacious house in rural Colorado, and I live in a condo in Boulder.
We haven't found a place that fits both of our needs yet, so we're content living 45 minutes apart.
There are challenges, but we enjoy spending lots of time at each other's homes.
Every weekend, my partner makes the best breakfast: over-medium eggs, handmade tortillas, and fresh hash browns.
We often eat outside thanks to Colorado's bright, sunny days, then we'll walk around the lake, watch some football, and spend the evening roasting marshmallows over the fire pit.
Then, when Sunday night arrives, I get in my car and drive the 45 minutes back to my dream condo to get ready for the week ahead.
My partner and I met at work 13 years ago, and we intend to spend the rest of our lives together, but we still live apart. We know each other's rhythms, quirks, and needs, and have no secrets, just separate addresses.
I often joke that we're in a "middle-distance" relationship. At least we're in the same state, but it's also not always easy or convenient to drop by for dinner.
Living apart lets us each keep a home we love
Both of us are divorced, and we both love the houses we have.
My partner lives in rural northeastern Colorado and bought his home after his divorce. It's bigger than mine, with a huge yard and a custom-designed patio built for entertaining.
His neighborhood isn't exactly walkable, but he's originally from a small town in Texas, so he doesn't mind driving longer distances to get to places he wants to go.
Meanwhile, after my divorce, I moved back into the Boulder condo I had been renting out while married. My unit is smaller than my partner's, but I love its mountain views and proximity to all my favorite places, like my go-to local bakery.
It needed a lot of work when I moved back in, but I invested in new paint and flooring to really make it mine again.
I want to stay close to Boulder, and he wants a big house. The tight, expensive housing market has made it tough to find a new place we both love.
Though we've toured many houses together over the last six months, we haven't been impressed by any of them enough to leave the places we've already made our own.
Our setup isn't as tough as people think
We've built a routine that works well for us.
Lindsey Galloway
One thing that has made this arrangement easier is that we're used to living out of our suitcases. I'm a professional travel writer, and he works for a company based on the East Coast. We also love to explore new places together whenever we can.
When we are both home in Colorado, we've found a routine that has worked pretty well for us. My partner often spends some weeknights here, where we're close to restaurants, friends, walkable downtown Boulder, and other things to do after work.
Then, I'll go up to his house for quiet, relaxed weekends, and to watch my favorite team on the 100-inch screen (go Raiders!). We also tend to entertain at his bigger house.
Both of us get bored easily, so having a change of scenery and routine keeps life feeling fresh. My 14-year-old pug has adapted, too, and travels with me between places.
To make things easier, I've bought duplicates of staples like deodorant and an electric toothbrush, so I'm not schlepping them (or forgetting them!) every weekend.
That said, there are challenging things about our setup. Packing up every few days can be a hassle, and it can be stressful to land at the airport and decide which house to go to, especially when I miss both my partner and the feeling of being "home."
We always make an effort to overcommunicate our plans and extend understanding whenever one of us just needs to get home to do a load of laundry.
We'll find our dream home eventually
We plan to move in together eventually.
Lindsey Galloway
Every day, I'm scrolling listings that meet both our picky criteria and calling up agents for showings, but so far, we haven't loved anything as much as our current homes.
It sounds frustrating, but we both think this is a pretty good problem to have: It gives us more leverage in the homebuying process and means we don't have to settle for something that is only half-right or makes just one of us happy.
We're confident that we'll find a home that fits us both, but in the meantime, navigating the middle-distance has only made our relationship stronger.
I've seen all kinds of weddings over the past decade, but many couples make the same mistakes.
Courtesy of Cameron Dever
I've worked as a wedding photographer for years, and I've seen couples make the same mistakes.
Too many people schedule the day to the minute and don't get the chance to enjoy their wedding.
Not budgeting for the right photographer and videographer can lead to disappointing results.
I've been photographing weddings for over a decade, so I've witnessed countless ceremonies and receptions — some disastrous, others impeccable.
Throughout the years, I've also watched couples make the same mistakes over and over. Here are a few I wish they'd avoid.
Filling the day-of schedule with way too much
Couples have to find time for the ceremony, photos, eating and drinking, dancing, talking to the people they invited, and connecting with each other.
When you try to fit too many things into the day, no one — especially the married couple — has time to breathe and relish the moments. The day can feel rushed and more focused on activities than the celebration of love.
A packed schedule often leaves couples stressed, with no time to eat because they've been pushed from one 15-minute window to the next.
However, your wedding day shouldn't be a blur. You should have time to soak in every moment. When you map out your day, prioritize traditions you love and estimate how long each will take … then add buffers.
I also recommend working with a wedding planner or coordinator to plan your timeline, or consulting with your photographer and other vendors when arranging your schedule. They've experienced countless weddings and know firsthand how much time each activity usually takes.
Letting small mishaps and issues ruin the whole day
Learning how to laugh off the small mishaps is absolutely key.
Courtesy of Cameron Dever
One of the things I always tell my couples right before their wedding day is that something will go wrong.
I don't say this to scare them or make them worry, but mostly to adjust their expectations. No matter how much planning you do, people are imperfect, the weather can be unpredictable, and life happens.
By the time the day comes, couples have done all they can to make sure it's how they pictured it. All that matters after that is that they enjoy their wedding.
Missing flowers or a cake that's the wrong flavor can throw off your day — but these unexpected mishaps shouldn't be so consuming that they're all you remember from your wedding.
I don't want to witness any more miserable couples desperately trying to fix details that will never be exactly right. Please try to roll with the punches on your wedding day.
Hiring the wrong photographer or videographer
I may be a bit biased, but I strongly believe having important memories properly documented in photo and video form is priceless.
I've also heard from countless married couples who regret booking a subpar photographer or skipping a videographer.
When hiring any vendors — especially these — choose carefully. You're paying someone to use their physical and creative energy to tell the story of your wedding.
Ask a ton of questions and make sure you love their style by viewing their portfolios and websites. It can also help to hop on a phone call or video meeting — couples should esnsure they vibe with their photo and video team on a personal level because they'll be spending a lot of time with them on the big day.
Planning the wedding they think they should have instead of the one they actually want
You don't have to have a cookie-cutter wedding.
Courtesy of Cameron Dever
Weddings are for the couple, so they should do what they want.
I see so many of them spend thousands of dollars and devote countless hours to planning, only to celebrate their love the way they think they're supposed to — not how they'd actually like.
Your wedding should be unique to you, and it doesn't need to look like everyone else's. If you wish to elope in the forest or plan a ball inspired by "Bridgerton" in a mansion, go for it.
The couple is at the core of the celebration, so why shouldn't everything be based on who they are and what matters most to them?
Consider this my official public service announcement: Your wedding can — and should — be fun, unique, and meaningful to you.
This story was originally published in June 2021 and most recently updated on October 23, 2026.
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