• Jodie Lopez is a single mom raising two boys to be independent and responsible from a young age.
• She expects them to clean their rooms, carry their bags, and manage their own screen time.
• She believes giving kids responsibility helps them become confident and capable adults.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Jodie Lopez. It has been edited for length and clarity.

When I first became a mother, I knew I wanted my children to grow up to be independent, resilient, and prepared for life in the real world.

Growing up, my mom wasn't around much. Although I didn't want my children to feel alone as I often did, I did want to pass on the independence I developed by doing things for myself. I have never been afraid to go out and do exciting things, and I wanted to raise children who could stand on their own two feet and take whatever life might one day throw at them.

Before being their friend, it was most important to me that I was their mom, preparing them for the day they would eventually leave my care.

Having boys, I also hoped they would grow into men who would make good housemates or partners one day. I've talked to them about the stereotypes surrounding men and housework, and I never wanted those stereotypes to become true of them.

Tidying their bedrooms

Even as tiny toddlers and young children, the boys were expected to tidy up after themselves. If they got something out, they would put it away. If they forgot, I reminded them.

Their bedrooms are their responsibility, not mine. While I would help them, I would never simply clean their rooms for them.

Carrying their own backpacks

I've always taken the boys out on little adventures. When they were tiny, I carried most of what we needed for the day, but they always had tiny backpacks of their own, usually with a pack of wipes and their own snacks.

By carrying their own snacks, they were able to feed themselves when they got hungry, listening to their bodies and responding to what they were telling them.

As they got older, I never carried their backpacks or school belongings to and from school. I see parents carrying everything at the start or end of a school day, but I've never done this.

When we go on vacations now, the boys carry backpacks full of toys, clothes, and toiletries. They are responsible for their own belongings.

Learning to help around the house

I've always expected the boys to pitch in and help around the house because that is simply part of living with other people. They don't get paid for this.

They take their own dishes to the sink. They keep their rooms clean. They tidy up after playing. They might do little, quick chores around the house.

But I also have a system where they can earn a small payment — up to about $1.50 — for doing jobs such as cleaning the bathroom or taking out the trash. For these jobs, they get paid twice as much if they notice the job needs doing and do it without being asked.

It's my way of raising boys who see a mess and then do something about it.

I'll also offer some sort of payment if it is a job I would normally do myself, but simply don't have time for as a working single mom.

I don't play at parks or soft play

I have never hovered around the boys at parks or soft play centers, even when they were little. I sit on a bench or at a table and let them figure out what they are capable of.

I will help when asked, but they know not to ask me to do things for them when they are capable of doing them themselves. I will assist, support, or get ready to catch them if they need me.

I want them to learn how to play without me. My role in these contexts is to guard them — to make sure they are safe — rather than to be their playmate.

Parents have looked at me suspiciously when I stand back while the kids play, perhaps thinking I am a lazy parent.

But this isn't me being a lazy parent. It is an intentional decision to teach them how to keep themselves safe, assess their capabilities, and play without constant adult intervention.

That isn't to say I never play with them. We play lots — just not in these contexts.

They manage their own screen time

Both boys have set amounts of screen time, but it is up to them to manage it. After school, they have 30 minutes of screen time. On weekends, they have two 30-minute lots, plus an extra 45 minutes when they play on screens together.

Instead of me hovering over them and checking how long they have been playing, they set a timer themselves to regulate their playing time. This also minimizes arguments when screen time finishes.

They are learning to manage their own time and self-regulate their screen use, rather than relying on me to constantly monitor it for them.

Learning what they are capable of

After years of intentionally teaching independence, my children are growing in confidence. They know what they are capable of.

Although I am very present in their lives and ready to help and support them, they are also growing into their own individuals in the world.

That, to me, is the whole point.

I don't want to raise children who need me to do everything for them. I want to raise children who know I am there when they need me, but who also know they are capable of doing so much for themselves.

• We don't offer our kids cash or toys for their Halloween candy.
• They get to eat as much as they want on Halloween and keep the rest after.
• I want them to learn how to listen to their bodies and develop a healthy relationship with sugar.

When Halloween rolls around every year, the Switch Witch or candy fairy posts start flooding my feed. But in our house, our three kids can eat as much candy as they want on Halloween night, and we don't offer to trade cash or toys for their haul. In fact, we let them keep their candy until long after Halloween has passed.

I'm not anti-rules, I'm pro-experience

I'm not saying sugar is harmless or that I want my kids to eat unlimited amounts of candy every day, but I understand the value of special occasions, and I want them to do the same. I also know that just telling kids something isn't good for them and not letting them have the firsthand experience often backfires. (Or maybe that's just my kids?) And I have to admit the first time I watched my oldest kid work her way through a pile of wrappers, I wondered if I'd made a huge mistake.

But it wasn't a mistake. It's allowed us to frame sugar within our eating habits to help our kids understand what a well-balanced diet means, rather than focusing only on its downsides. We talk about the place of protein, fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and treats in our lives. Ultimately, I'd rather help my kids build their own internal "enough" meter while they are young than have me control it now and send them into adulthood lacking the skill. This is one opportunity to do that.

Our Halloween rules are simple

Our house generally operates on a "two sugars per day" rule: as long as they eat a good balance of foods, our kids can choose two things they'd like that contain sugar throughout the day. This might be a family trip to an ice cream shop or a lollipop from a doctor's office. But on Halloween, the only rule is that they have to eat a decent dinner before trick-or-treating. Then they can eat as much candy as they'd like.

The second rule around Halloween is that anything not eaten by the following summer is thrown away. And you'd be surprised at how much candy we throw away. Because candy isn't forbidden fruit in our house, our kids don't hoard it and are fairly mindful about eating what they truly enjoy. This means they're generally open to giving away candies they don't like to siblings or parents (my collection of Almond Joys each October 31st brings me great, well, joy), and they also preemptively throw away things no one likes.

They are learning an important lesson about their bodies

Each of our kids has learned what too much sugar feels like, from crashes to more unfortunate situations. There was the unforgettable Saturday afternoon our then-6-year-old treated us to bright blue throw-up, courtesy of too many Toxic Waste candies. And the night our then-10-year-old woke up again and again with a stomachache.

But none of them have had a negative experience twice (so far). They are growing more attuned to their bodies and what makes them feel unwell before they hit the tipping point. To me, this is a sign that they are forming healthy relationships with sugar, and eating in general. It's ever-evolving, of course, but I didn't grow up learning this skill, so it's one I want to give them.

And for me, it goes beyond food. I hope they'll understand and listen to their bodies in other situations as they grow, from going to parties in college to pushing themselves physically in exercise or sports. Our bodies are really cool, complex machines that give us a lot of signals if we know how to tune in. An overindulgent night of candy on Halloween seems like a pretty low-risk way to help them calibrate their "enough" meter.

• Carolyn Tisch Blodgett said she sets an example for the brand by integrating her family and work.
• She said bringing her children to big games helps encourage working parents "to be their full selves."
• Blodgett spoke to Deputy Editor Nathan McAlone at Business Insider's The Long Play.

Attend a Gotham FC game, and you can expect to see Olympic gold medalists like Rose Lavelle, Emily Sonnet, and Tierna Davidson in the spotlight.

What you may not expect is children taking over the pitch by 10 pm after each game.

"It's kind of like a Gotham daycare on the field," said the club's lead owner and governor, Carolyn Tisch Blodgett, whose three kids are part of the crowd.

Under Blodgett's leadership, the club has become the reigning champion of the National Women's Soccer League (NWSL) and one of the hottest brands in the rising tide of women's sports.

Bringing family to work is a key part of the brand's success, she said at Business Insider's "The Long Play" event on Thursday.

Blodgett is also the CEO and founder of Next 3 Ventures, a New York-based investment firm focused on sports, tech, and media. She is a member of the NWSL board and serves as chair of the executive committee.

Integrating work and family can help working parents "show up as their full selves," she told Deputy Editor Nathan McAlone.

That's why her husband and three children show up to all the big games — she said her six-year-old is obsessed with the team's goalie, and ran onto the field to celebrate when the team won the NSWL championship last year.

"You need to walk the walk. If I showed up to every game and pretended that my kids didn't exist, and no children were around, I think players might not feel as comfortable," she said.

The end goal is not only to build a winning team but to shape a brand that fans can connect with, increasing attendance, engagement, and ultimately, revenue.

Blodgett, formerly the global head of marketing at Peloton, said she takes a page straight from the Peloton playbook by focusing on players' personalities to cultivate fan loyalty.

"So much of people's relationship through their favorite sports team is through the players," she said.

For instance, one of the biggest stars in women's soccer, Alex Morgan — Olympian, World Cup Champ, and a mom — has more than 9 million Instagram followers. The San Diego Wave, her most recent club before retiring in 2025, has fewer than 1 million followers.

Morgan has also been outspoken about the challenges of being a working parent, advocating for more systemic support for athletes who become moms.

Balancing a career with parenthood isn't only a problem for athletes — it's also increasingly a point of friction for women in leadership roles across industries, including finance and tech.

But athletes can face specific challenges, such as navigating long seasons of travel and training at sports facilities that haven't historically offered childcare benefits.

Blodgett's bet is that everyone wins, from the players to brand leadership, if you build a culture of normalizing parenthood at work.

In July, the Gotham FC made history by playing before a sold-out Citi Field crowd of more than 40,000, a record-high attendance for a women's sporting event in New York City.

For Blodgett, business (and sports) has long been a family affair: her family has helped run the NY Giants since 1991. For most of that time, the vast majority of investment has gone toward male athletes, she said.

Her hope is to eventually bridge the gap until enthusiasm for women's sports becomes so pervasive that it won't be interesting to talk about.

"I think you'll have less panels like this saying, 'wow, let's talk about the future of women's sports' because women's sports will just be another chapter in all of sports," Blodgett said.

• Marissa Goldstein and her husband traveled to Vietnam for work in 2016 and decided to move there soon after.
• Now, a mother of two sets of twins, Goldstein says her family of six is happily settled in Ho Chi Minh City.
• The city's low costs and kid-friendly culture make family life easier — though international school fees are high.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Marissa Goldstein, a 40-year-old entrepreneur from the Boston area who lives in Ho Chi Minh City. It has been edited for length and clarity.

In 2016, my husband and I flew to Vietnam with our 1-year-old twins and two bags. We told everyone we'd be back in three months.

Ten years later, we have four kids — two sets of twins — and a life in Ho Chi Minh City that I wouldn't trade. We've taken our kids to about 50 countries and spend summers with our families in Boston, then come back to the chaos of a city we love.

Asia had my heart long before Vietnam

I grew up outside Boston. I studied communications at the University of Maryland, and a trip to Thailand during my junior year abroad was my first taste of Asia. I fell in love.

My husband and I met in high school and married after I graduated. I worked in PR and sales, then got my MBA at Babson College. Around 2015, there was an opportunity to help US companies diversify their supply chains away from China, so we started The Timroon Group, a manufacturing and sourcing company focused on Vietnam.

Being home with two babies overwhelmed me. Even though we had an incredible support system, living with my parents in a six-bedroom house in the suburbs. I quickly realized that staying home wasn't for me.

When traveling, though, I felt unstoppable. We headed to Ho Chi Minh City the day after their first birthday.

Vietnam won me over through my kids

I loved it right away, especially how people treat children. We'd bring the twins to dinners and big brunches, and the staff would take them and play. I felt really safe. Within a month, we had friends from all over the world. Three months turned into 18.

When the twins were 18 months old, we took an overnight train to Sapa in northern Vietnam. Hmong women were selling their textiles, and I decided to start my own travel accessories brand, working with women artisans. On that same trip, we decided to have one more child. Soon after, we found out we were having twins again.

In January 2020, we returned to Boston, where I grew Raffi Nova, my textile accessories brand. But by 2022, my husband's business was picking up, and we had the itch to return to Vietnam.

Ho Chi Minh City works for a family of 6

We live about 15 minutes from the city center. There are a lot of foreigners living here, several international schools, and everything is within a 10-minute drive.

There are good doctors and hospitals, Michelin Guide-rated street food, French bakeries, and plenty of activities for the kids, from taekwondo to tennis.

The cost of living is much lower, though school and housing add up. Housing in our area ranges from about $1,500 a month for a smaller apartment to around $10,000 for a villa. We're somewhere in between, in a five-bedroom serviced apartment.

We spend about $1,000 a month on groceries, buying fruit and vegetables at the local market, and spending more on meat and imported food. A latte at a cute, bougie café is about $2, so I treat my friends to coffee without thinking twice.

We have a live-out helper who we pay about $900 a month. She cleans, preps groceries, and helps with the kids. Health insurance for our family runs under $10,000 a year.

I get serious sticker shock when I go home in the summer. I take the kids out for bagels, and it's $100 or more.

Schooling is by far our biggest cost. International school fees in the city range from about $8,000 to $30,000 per child per school year. We're at the higher end, but we strongly believe in a good education.

With fees for four kids, we probably spend about the same as we would in the US, where we wouldn't have to pay for school. But there, we wouldn't eat out or travel as much.

Being far away is hard, but travel makes up for it

Both our big families live in the Boston suburbs.

There's also the weather: hot, hotter, and wet. In rainy season, it pours at school pickup every single day, even when you're sure it won't. The upside is that the kids need only one wardrobe all year.

I see Vietnam is our launchpad to the world.

Last spring, we spent a night in the jungle in Phong Nha, home to Vietnam's largest cave. We've been to Thailand about 20 times. Last February, we rented an RV and drove around New Zealand's South Island. On a trip to Sri Lanka, the kids learned to surf, and we stayed at a homestay in the mountains.

Traveling as six is hard. Most hotels don't allow four children in a room, and we can't fit in a regular car. Our best trips have never been at nice resorts. They're homestays, campsites, and RVs.

That's probably why this life suits us. I never wanted to say, "This is the house we'll live in for the next 50 years." Predictability scares me. I thrive in chaos, and with two sets of twins, there's always plenty of it — I wouldn't have it any other way.