• My partner lives in a spacious house in rural Colorado, and I live in a condo in Boulder.
• We haven't found a place that fits both of our needs yet, so we're content living 45 minutes apart.
• There are challenges, but we enjoy spending lots of time at each other's homes.

Every weekend, my partner makes the best breakfast: over-medium eggs, handmade tortillas, and fresh hash browns.

We often eat outside thanks to Colorado's bright, sunny days, then we'll walk around the lake, watch some football, and spend the evening roasting marshmallows over the fire pit.

Then, when Sunday night arrives, I get in my car and drive the 45 minutes back to my dream condo to get ready for the week ahead.

My partner and I met at work 13 years ago, and we intend to spend the rest of our lives together, but we still live apart. We know each other's rhythms, quirks, and needs, and have no secrets, just separate addresses.

I often joke that we're in a "middle-distance" relationship. At least we're in the same state, but it's also not always easy or convenient to drop by for dinner.

Living apart lets us each keep a home we love

Both of us are divorced, and we both love the houses we have.

My partner lives in rural northeastern Colorado and bought his home after his divorce. It's bigger than mine, with a huge yard and a custom-designed patio built for entertaining.

His neighborhood isn't exactly walkable, but he's originally from a small town in Texas, so he doesn't mind driving longer distances to get to places he wants to go.

Meanwhile, after my divorce, I moved back into the Boulder condo I had been renting out while married. My unit is smaller than my partner's, but I love its mountain views and proximity to all my favorite places, like my go-to local bakery.

It needed a lot of work when I moved back in, but I invested in new paint and flooring to really make it mine again.

I want to stay close to Boulder, and he wants a big house. The tight, expensive housing market has made it tough to find a new place we both love.

Though we've toured many houses together over the last six months, we haven't been impressed by any of them enough to leave the places we've already made our own.

Our setup isn't as tough as people think

One thing that has made this arrangement easier is that we're used to living out of our suitcases. I'm a professional travel writer, and he works for a company based on the East Coast. We also love to explore new places together whenever we can.

When we are both home in Colorado, we've found a routine that has worked pretty well for us. My partner often spends some weeknights here, where we're close to restaurants, friends, walkable downtown Boulder, and other things to do after work.

Then, I'll go up to his house for quiet, relaxed weekends, and to watch my favorite team on the 100-inch screen (go Raiders!). We also tend to entertain at his bigger house.

Both of us get bored easily, so having a change of scenery and routine keeps life feeling fresh. My 14-year-old pug has adapted, too, and travels with me between places.

To make things easier, I've bought duplicates of staples like deodorant and an electric toothbrush, so I'm not schlepping them (or forgetting them!) every weekend.

That said, there are challenging things about our setup. Packing up every few days can be a hassle, and it can be stressful to land at the airport and decide which house to go to, especially when I miss both my partner and the feeling of being "home."

We always make an effort to overcommunicate our plans and extend understanding whenever one of us just needs to get home to do a load of laundry.

We'll find our dream home eventually

Every day, I'm scrolling listings that meet both our picky criteria and calling up agents for showings, but so far, we haven't loved anything as much as our current homes.

It sounds frustrating, but we both think this is a pretty good problem to have: It gives us more leverage in the homebuying process and means we don't have to settle for something that is only half-right or makes just one of us happy.

We're confident that we'll find a home that fits us both, but in the meantime, navigating the middle-distance has only made our relationship stronger.

• After my husband lost his job, we moved across the country and into my mom's one-bedroom apartment.
• My husband, toddler, and I live in her living room, and it's not always easy sharing a small space.
• However, the arrangement has come with lots of benefits and we've been able to get back on our feet.

7:30 p.m. marks the start of my son's bedtime routine.

First, I pull out our pillows and bedding from under the chaise sofa bed, which I share with my son.

Once our makeshift bed is set, I close the curtains separating it from the rest of the one-bedroom apartment. The tiny living room becomes our private oasis.

I can almost forget we're at my mom's place, sleeping on a convertible sofa she'd originally bought for our annual visits, while my 6-foot-3 husband sleeps on his own air mattress on the ground right next to us.

After my husband lost his job, moving in with my mom seemed like the right decision

Squeezing into my mom's small Boston apartment was never the plan.

Right after I graduated from college, I had moved to California to chase my Hollywood dreams of becoming an actor. During my two decades of living on the West Coast, I met my husband, got married, and became a stay-at-home mom.

However, our lives were turned upside down in 2025 when my husband lost his job. For the first time, we really started thinking about moving to Boston, where I had grown up and my family still lived.

I figured it would give us more flexibility with childcare, and a fresh start in a new city might be what we needed.

When I called my mom to tell her about our plans, she was thrilled. She'd been telling us to move to Boston for years, and said we could stay with her in her one-bedroom apartment until we found a new place.

So, we booked one-way tickets to Logan Airport and moved in with my mom.

It's been challenging for all of us to share a one-bedroom apartment

Arriving in Boston was exciting, but the transition to sharing a one-bedroom apartment was trying — we took over the entire living room. The room became cluttered, with our clothes and suitcases spilling into the hallway.

My mom expressed concern about the mess, so we rented a nearby storage unit for most of our belongings. Still, though, the things we need daily seem to take up a lot of space.

Sharing a one-bedroom apartment required an adjustment not just for us, but for her too.

For example, my son's early bedtime closes the living room off to my mom's nightly TV watching. Honestly, it still feels awkward to kick my mom out of her own living room because I have to put my toddler to sleep.

Plus, my mom is an early riser, often getting up at 6:30 a.m. to clean and run errands.

I can hear the sounds of domestic life filtering through the curtains that separate our "room" from the rest of the home. Cupboards opening, dishes being put away, and the smell of morning coffee lingering in the air like a wake-up call.

When tension rises because of our conflicting schedules and differing routines, I've learned to take a breather and step outside with my son to go for a walk or a drive. It often helps to ease the tension and remember this arrangement is only temporary.

However, it's also nice having my mom's support, and my son has gotten to know his abuela in ways that wouldn't have been possible from across the country. She watches him while I take a shower and go to in-person or Zoom job interviews.

Every night, while I'm getting the living room ready for bedtime, he goes into her room and cuddles up next to her while she watches TV.

Even though things aren't perfect, the arrangement is worth it

At first, being back at my mom's house after so many years of independence honestly made me feel like I somehow failed at life. By 40, I thought I'd have a successful career and a home of my own.

Now, though, it's been seven months since we arrived in Boston, and honestly? We're thriving. My husband found work, my son loves his preschool, and I've been able to focus on my career aspirations.

What I've learned through this whole process is that it's OK to lean on family when necessary, and even though we're still hoping to get our own place sooner rather than later, I know moving back to Boston was the right decision for me and my family.