The midterms are stressing us all. Here are five ways to calm down.
The madness of the midterm elections is upon us, and many of us are struggling. We’re doom-scrolling and compulsively refreshing polling data. We’re losing sleep.
As someone who has hosted a wellness podcast for more than a decade, I’ve been thinking about how to manage this stress — for myself and others. Here are five common misconceptions about how to stay sane in insane times, as well as some workarounds. Please take what works for you and leave the rest.
Misconception No. 1: Self-care is self-indulgent
If you are someone who worries that taking time for yourself is selfish, please know that it’s actually a public service. It can equip you to better respond to a world on fire.
Happiness expert Gretchen Rubin has some advice I love: “Treat yourself like a toddler.” In other words, make sure you eat well and get enough sleep. Engage in the practices that work for you — meditation, exercise, socializing — and do it guilt-free. Not only do you deserve rest, but self-care is also good citizenship.
Here is a super-quick practice that helps to regulate my nervous system year-round: Take three deep breaths. It sounds deceptively simple but can be quite powerful. I especially like “straw breathing”: Deep inhale through the nose, then slow exhale through pursed lips, as if you’re blowing through a straw. For me, the relief is immediate. Repeat as often as necessary.
Misconception No. 2: ‘Acceptance’ means complacency
“Acceptance” can be a tricky term. It means acknowledging what is happening — in the world and in your own mind — as a first step toward taking action. It’s hard to fix a problem if you aren’t seeing it clearly. So instead of wasting energy being at war with reality, accept it, then act.
Another practice that might help comes from the eminent meditation teacher Joseph Goldstein. Next time you’re in the throes of anger, anxiety or another difficult emotion, drop these words into your mind: “It’s OK.” This doesn’t mean that everything is OK. Instead, it means that it’s OK to feel whatever you’re feeling right then. When confronted with difficult emotions, many of us reflexively self-medicate (with, say, alcohol or shopping). The radical move is to feel your feelings, notice that they come and go, and make a sane choice on the other side.
Misconception No. 3: ‘Surrender’ means resignation
“Surrender” is another term that can be tricky. If acceptance is seeing things clearly, then surrender is recognizing what is in your control and what is not. It’s easy to hear surrender as a synonym for resignation or passivity, but it’s simply a way to conserve your energy for the areas where impact is genuinely possible.
Different traditions have ways of describing this. In Stoicism, they talk about “controlling the controllables.” In Buddhism, it’s “non-attachment to results.” AA has its serenity prayer. The core idea is that you can work hard on issues that matter to you while also recognizing that, in the end, the results are largely out of your control.
Practice: Next time you notice yourself in an anxiety spiral, use it as a moment to inquire. Is there a useful action I can take right now? If not, maybe just drop this word into your mind: “Surrender.” This move has saved me a lot of unnecessary suffering.
Misconception No. 4: I need my anger in order to stay in the fight
Given the corruption, the Iran war, the ballroom — it’s perfectly understandable that many of us find Trump 2.0 infuriating. Further, anger has its uses. It can help you identify problems and can be motivating. In my experience, however, when I am operating on uncut outrage, I inevitably burn myself out.
Try this: In moments of anger or anxiety, see if you can tune into what’s beneath these emotions. When you dig, you will likely find caring. Or, to use a less comfortable term, love. Love for your country, for your family, for yourself. For me, love is the cleaner burning fuel. Let it propel you forward.
Misconception No. 5: To stay informed, I need to compulsively check the news
No question, the stakes are high in these midterms. But does this mean you need to doomscroll in every free moment? In my opinion, no.
So how do you draw the line between staying informed and driving yourself crazy? It’s both highly individual and also more art than science. I recommend doing some personal exploration. How much news can your nervous system metabolize before you start to glitch? If you go for more than two straight hours, do you find yourself typing in all-caps on Bluesky? My friend Sebene Selassie, a meditation teacher, has a policy of “no news before noon.” (Sorry, Joe and Mika!) My own policy is to not look at my phone for the first and last hours of the day.
A practice: Savor the good stuff. The people who design social media algorithms benefit from keeping us in a perpetual state of fear and outrage because those emotions keep us scrolling. If you put your phone down and step outside, you’ll see tons of good stuff. People raising children, volunteering and engaging in small acts of decency. Tuning into this doesn’t negate the world’s problems, but it does put them in a larger frame. Personally, I like to take a warm shower and make a list of all the things that I am grateful for from the day. I find it retrains my mind to scan for the positive.
If you’re looking for constructive ways to consume news, I recommend the MS NOW membership app. It provides both news and tools to regulate your nervous system, so that you can then take the appropriate action. To me, that is a solid recipe for citizenship: Information, regulation, activation. Remember: The world is insane, but you don’t have to be.
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