Ha ucciso il padre perché “non ne potevo più, i vicini si lamentavano delle sue urla“. Davanti al gip che la sentirà domani, Giovanna Jacob probabilmente ripeterà la sua drammatica confessione di domenica pomeriggio: “Forse ho ucciso mio padre, lo contenevo a letto perché non ne potevo più e i vicini si lamentavano delle sue urla“. 56 anni, è stata arrestata a Milano dai carabinieri con l’accusa di omicidio aggravato dal vincolo di parentela per la morte del padre Carlo, 87 anni, ex ingegnere elettronico e critico cinematografico affetto da una grave forma di demenza senile. Il teatro di quella che si configura come l’ennesima tragedia di padre e figlia in preda da tempo alla solitudine è stato un appartamento, alla periferia del capoluogo lombardo dove entrambi vivevano.

Il pm Guido Schininà ha già chiesto per Giovanna Jacob la convalida dell’arresto e che rimanga in carcere. La donna comparirà davanti al giudice Sonia Mancini nella giornata di domani e presumibilmente ripeterà che non era sua intenzione uccidere l’anziano padre ma che, ormai da qualche settimana, era costretta a legarlo al letto. Era sfiancata dalle cure che da sola doveva prestare quotidianamente al genitore ormai da oltre un anno. Poi erano arrivate le lamentele dei vicini per le urla e lei, non sapendo più che fare, da alcune settimane aveva cominciato a tappargli anche la bocca con dell’ovatta. Il padre Carlo si dibatteva infatti da tempo in preda alla demenza senile e urlava e lei aveva iniziato a contenerlo con ogni mezzo.

A chiamare i carabinieri del Nucleo radiomobile e della Compagnia Monforte domenica scorsa è stata proprio Giovanna Jacob, appassionata di cinema come il padre e autrice anche lei di articoli su alcune riviste: “Fate presto, venite, forse ho ucciso mio padre“. Ma quando sono arrivate le forze dell’ordine, per l’uomo non c’era più niente da fare. La donna ha ammesso davanti al suo letto di averlo imbavagliato e legato al letto “per evitare problemi con i condomini“. Domani ribadirà la sua verità e il giudice in base anche agli accertamenti tecnici e medico legali stabilirà la volontarietà del gesto o se invece sia sia trattato di una tragedia involontaria, maturata nella solitudine di un padre e di una figlia lasciati a se stessi. Senza che nessuno abbia mai segnalato problemi provenienti da quel trilocale.

L'articolo Milano, uccide il padre malato di demenza senile: arrestata. “Lo tenevo imbavagliato al letto per evitare problemi con i vicini” proviene da Il Fatto Quotidiano.

• Viaano Spruyt first became a caregiver as a teenager when his father fell ill.
• After his father died, he moved to Australia to study and build a life there.
• Three years later, he returned home to be closer to family after his mother's health scare.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Viaano Spruyt, 29, founder of Huddle, an AI-powered social network for fandoms. He is based in Singapore. It has been edited for length and clarity.

I first became a caregiver when I was a teenager.

My dad had an incurable respiratory disease, and he was on an oxygen tank every day. He would get breathless after walking for just a few minutes and needed help with day-to-day living.

Back then, my mom was the sole breadwinner for the family, and my sister was too young to grasp what was going on.

As the oldest child and only son, I took responsibility for his daily care. I fed him his meals and brought him to appointments at hospitals around Singapore.

He passed away when I was 19. Several years later, when I was 22, I moved to the Gold Coast in Australia on a scholarship. I earned my bachelor's in psychology, the first step toward my ambition to become a clinical psychologist.

Over the next three years, I built a real life in Australia.

I had assimilated into the culture, was in a serious relationship, and was set to pursue a master's degree. I was also in the process of applying for permanent residency.

My family was always in the back of my mind. Still, I wanted to experience life outside Singapore, and I was in the midst of building the future I thought I would have.

The call that changed everything

Then one day, I was reminded what it meant to be so far from home.

My mom was walking to catch a bus to work when her knees suddenly gave way. She kept calling me for help, but I'd missed her calls.

Unable to walk, she ended up sitting alone, crying for hours. A kind stranger eventually called for help, and she was taken to a local hospital. She was wheelchair-bound for the next few weeks. Later, she told me she wished I'd been there.

My mom is now 61 and has advanced osteoarthritis in both knees, with severe cartilage loss, meniscus damage, and joint degeneration.

When I asked why she had called me rather than my younger sister, my mom said she didn't want to distract my sister from her final exams and internship. Still, I was the first person she thought to call for help, even from thousands of miles away.

That was the exact moment I knew I had to come home.

Seeing what happened to my mom brought me back to when my dad was ill. I didn't want to be on the other side of the world when my mom was dealing with a health issue.

It wasn't just my mom. My grandparents, now in their 80s, were also getting older, and I realized my family needed me.

I came home and started over

After my mom's incident, I gave up the plans I'd made in Australia and moved back to Singapore in 2022. That was probably the hardest decision I have ever made in my life.

My Australian girlfriend moved to Singapore for a few months to see if we could build a life here instead. But things didn't work out, and we eventually ended the relationship.

Since coming back, I haven't had much of a social life.

I ended up starting Huddle, an AI-powered social network for fandoms, with my cofounder, Fabian. Starting a company was not the path I had spent my life working toward, but it became another passion.

At this stage, my life is very much centered on work and my family, with whom I live. I choose to have no other commitments outside those two things, which gives me some room to respond when my family needs support.

I make sure my mom gets the care she needs. I take her to the hospital and arrange her treatments. I do the same for my grandparents.

When I returned, my younger sister had just started university. I wanted her to focus on her studies, so I took on more of the day-to-day care for our family.

Once my mom is doing better, I hope to move to the US to grow my company with my cofounder, while my sister and I share responsibility for supporting her.

Coming back meant starting over in a lot of ways. However, I would make that decision again and again for my mom. Always.