• Recently, I traveled with my husband, our two young children, my in-laws, and other family members.
• Our international trip to Mexico felt more manageable and fun because we had so many people.
• For now, I wouldn't travel internationally with my kids without my in-laws or extended family.

Some people don't get along with their in-laws, but I'm not one of them.

I lived with my in-laws for years from my mid-20s to early 30s. My husband and I still go to their house every week or two, and after we had kids, my mother-in-law has always stepped in, whether coming over to assist with bath time or to drop off food.

So, it's no surprise that traveling with them (and other members of our extended family) to Mexico was a no-brainer.

We've actually done it multiple times, but this latest trip was the first with both my two small children, who are 3 years old and almost 8 months old.

Looking back, this whole Mexico trip wouldn't have been feasible without my in-laws and extended family.

It was nice having a big group as we headed to Mexico for a few days

We traveled from San Diego to Querétaro, Mexico, with a whole crew in tow: me, my husband, our kids, my mother-in-law, father-in-law, sister-in-law, niece, nephew, and one of my husband's cousins.

Our big family trip was a four-day adventure, and the main purpose was to attend my husband's cousin's wedding. (It later turned into a five-day event thanks to a flight delay, but more on that later.)

We've done large family trips like this since 2019, so we have an intuitive groove, where everyone contributes in some way — looking up where to eat, figuring out what to see, or even getting coffee delivered to the hotel.

This time, we split up into three separate rooms at a hotel where most of the wedding guests were staying, but were located right across the hall from each other.

This arrangement made it easy for the kids to head to their grandparents' room for bath time or to hang out with the cousins while my husband and I got ready.

Having more people came in handy throughout the trip — and made it more fun

Not only was it extremely helpful to have more hands on deck, but it was genuinely fun traveling with a group spanning such a wide range of ages, from 8 months old to age 59.

There were various interests and dynamics at play, which also meant more excitement and more brainpower.

Cousins were funny and entertaining, which helped break the tension in stressful moments or squash the occasional toddler tantrum. I also appreciated that abuelita helped with diaper changes and baths, while abuelito helped carry or hold the kids whenever we were out and about.

Although our large crew mostly stayed together throughout the trip, we were also able to split up and do different things.

For instance, sometimes part of the family went out to the nearby market to explore, while others stayed in their room to nap or hang out.

At one point, most of our group went into the Centro Histórico in Santiago de Querétaro for churros while my husband and I put the kids to bed.

Our big group's ability to divide and conquer especially came in handy when our travel plans were thrown off.

When our flight was delayed until the next day, we all went into action: My in-laws arranged a new hotel for us, my husband and sister-in-law booked transportation for a large group, and I called the travel-insurance agency to see what our options were. We all kept an eye on the kids.

It was nice to have multiple adults working to solve a problem, rather than the pressure falling solely on my husband and me.

The journey back home was much longer and more complex thanks to layovers, but again, being around family made it easier.

I could have my sister-in-law, who was in the aisle behind me, watch my toddler while I went to the airplane restroom and my husband helped the baby nap.

We couldn't have done this trip without our support system

I've done shorter, more local overnight expeditions with my children — I've even taken them on a work trip — but this was our first international journey with them.

My children are very young, with a close enough age gap that makes travel particularly difficult right now. However, going on this trip with in-laws and family made everything feel so much more manageable.

Any time I felt a bit tired or overwhelmed, there was someone there to make it easier. It was especially fantastic, considering how poorly the baby slept during the trip, which left my husband and me even more fatigued.

I'm so grateful my kids got to see a bit of their heritage in Mexico and have some new experiences. I can't wait to show the world to my children, especially since I couldn't travel outside of the country until I was 17.

However, I'd prefer to hold off on these international travel dreams for a couple of years when my kids are slightly older and don't require quite as many naps or diaper changes.

For now, multigenerational trips make the most sense for us — and my wonderful in-laws have changed the travel game.

• I've always valued independence and found comfort in keeping my finances separate from my husband's.
• When we had a baby, though, our setup started to feel less and less fair.
• We agreed to combine most of our money, and it's helped us feel like a team.

Maybe it's because I'm an only child raised by a single mother, but I've always valued independence.

I walked down the aisle alone. I'll happily go out to dinner or a movie by myself. When faced with a problem, my instinct is to wrestle with it myself rather than ask for help. (I'm working on that one.)

And when my husband and I got married, I was adamant about keeping our finances separate.

For years, this arrangement worked beautifully. But after we had a baby in the summer of last year, I began to wonder whether the financial independence I'd clung to was actually working against us.

Keeping our finances separate gave me a sense of freedom

The concept of combining finances has always made me uncomfortable, mostly because I didn't like the idea of having to justify any impulse purchases I've made after working particularly hard. My husband was always on the same page.

The first time we really talked about changing our system was when we bought a house together in 2020, several years before we got married. We knew that this, of course, would come with a lot of shared expenses.

We decided to open a joint account, and to both deposit the same amount each month to cover those expenses — like the mortgage, utilities, and groceries. Then, we kept the remainder of our earnings in separate checking accounts.

When my husband wanted to splurge on some new audio equipment, he didn't feel the need to consult me. Similarly, I didn't have to "ask permission" every time I wanted to get my hair done or go out for a nice dinner with a friend.

To me, this system reflected just how much we trusted each other to make financially responsible decisions with our own money. Besides, it felt fair: We were both contributing equally to maintaining our home, while preserving some autonomy.

After having a baby, our separate finances started creating tension

In 2025, we had a baby. Suddenly, finances felt a lot less cut-and-dried.

Because my husband and I are both freelancers, every hour one of us spends working is often an hour the other spends caring for our son. So, when my husband takes a last-minute gig, I lose that time to work, but I don't directly benefit from what he earns — and vice versa.

We started to find ourselves competing for the working hours we needed to cover day care and the mortgage, even though we were supposed to be operating as a team. The "every man for himself" dynamic felt completely antithetical to what marriage was supposed to be.

Meanwhile, the costs of parenthood — diapers, formula, day care, clothing — were accumulating, forcing us to contribute more and more to our joint account. And now, one of us often had to sacrifice earning opportunities so the other could work.

During one of our recent weekly marriage check-ins, I expressed some resentment about how I'd been responsible for picking up our son from day care most days the previous week, while my husband was able to work much longer into the night.

"I'm contributing the same amount, but I'm not being given enough time to earn that amount," I said.

Combining more of our money helped us feel like a team again

Since our time and responsibilities are so intertwined these days, and we have a longer list of shared expenses than ever, we realized that the best way to make our situation feel more equitable was to merge more of our money.

In the past, we each deposited the same fixed dollar amount into our joint account every month. Now, we contribute nearly all our earnings to that account and set aside the same amount for both of us to spend as we wish.

That change helped curb some of the competition and resentment. Now, when one of us takes on an extra gig, client, or project, it feels like a win for both of us — regardless of who's earning the paycheck.

That's not to say we've found the perfect arrangement. We're still figuring out how much personal spending money makes sense to set aside and which major expenses warrant a conversation.

The important thing, though, is that we've realized independence and partnership aren't mutually exclusive. We share the same financial goals, so it only makes sense to share our earnings. We're not giving up our financial independence, but redefining what it means to us.

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